Ponniyin Selvan Varalaatru Peravai

When Santa & his wife filed an application for divorce, the Judge asked: "How
will you divide, you have 3 children?"

Then Santa replies: "Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR."
Santa’s wife hit him on the head with the frying pan.
Santa: What was that for?
Santa’s Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the name BASANTI on it.
Santa: I bet on a horse last week and BASANTI was the name of my horse.
Santa’s wife: Oho Sorry
Next day she hit him with the frying pan again.
Santa: now what happened?
Santa’s wife: your horse is on the phone.

Lottery Ticket
Santa wins 20 crore from a Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
The Dealer gives him 11 cr after deducting taxes.
Angry Santa: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!"
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
WIFE JOKES
- The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once....

- You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
- My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming...
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
- A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received
hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

Secrets of a Happy Married Life by a Man
Once X asked Y, what is the secret behind your happy married life?
Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each
other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.

X asked, "can you explain?"
Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides
on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"
Y said, "Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save,
when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy,
monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I
just agree to it"

X asked, "Then what is your role?"
Y said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should
attack Iraq, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to
widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc. Do you know
one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".

An essay on a cricket match
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except our Santaji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Imagine
Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?
Santa : Simple, Stop imagining.